Our Super Active AlphaLeo is being interviewed this month. This clan councilor and Head of Honor Council, has been with us for a couple of years and is always interested in helping with clan events. Let's talk with Leo:
Your old avatar was a dancing jiggly guy...How did you choose that avatar? First I thought it was a teddy bear, but then I think you mentioned that it is a strip of bacon!
Hmm...it's been a while, so it's hard to remember. I think when I first joined the offsite, I was just searching random items I liked on Google, bacon being one of them lol, and I came across it.
Well your new Lion Sketch Avatar is attractive too.
What is your favorite food?
I think it's a tie between pizza, popcorn, bacon, honey BBQ boneless wings and Pop-Tarts lol. All that with a side of chocolate milk would be amazing! Oh, and also Kit-Kat lasagna! If you've never had that, then you're missing out! Oh! Also! Lol I also love Honey Nut Cheerios and spaghetti! Oh, also sourdough bread...mmm...Lol ok, I'm done adding stuff. Ok one more: Egg bagels lol. It's funny because I really don't eat much at all, but I have so many favorite foods lol.
What is your favorite color?
Red for sure, although I also think orange is a cool color too.
Your ETU and Stylol participation has helped keep events going in the clan. What would you most like to see happen next to promote more clan fun together?
One fun event we could all do would be a weekly game night. We could all get together, maybe play a minigame or two and then just have fun at the citadel with pun wars, karaoke, another one of Ytse's zombie invasion events and whatever else we can come up with lol. That would probably promote it more.
What is you most memorable time that has happened with the clan?
I think I'm going to have to say going to Quest Fest, and having so much fun with so many different people from the clan! ^^
From Miss Alaska:
What do you enjoy most about RuneScape?
Right now, I think that's the old fashioned music box from Solomon's lol. It's so much fun at parties.
How do you normally spend your time in real life?
If I'm not at work, at school nor sleeping, then I try to hang out with some friends at their house, and we always have movie nights, play tons of board games--I freakin' love Clue lol-- and we also often go out to eat at places, and just have a fun time. On rare occasions, we sometimes even go to a Wal-Mart and play manhunt. Lol good times...good times...
What's your main goal in RuneScape?
Main goal, huh? Hmm...I think that's to get the trimmed completionist cape without losing my sanity lol.
What's your main goal at the moment in real life?
TO BE THE NEXT HOKAGE! BELIEVE IT! Lmao, sorry, I couldn't resist. Lol but yeah, um...I guess just to survive my engineering classes lol.
What made you start the epic Warscape game?
I remembered that we've been trying to get people to be more active on the offsite, and this was the best idea I could think of.
"Someone" told me that you "know" about Monte and Lori. Would you care to explain what that's all about?
I have no idea what you're talking about <.< >.> lol, but that conversation was truly epic! XD! Chiffon this, lace that, I need my mother's approval here, I want more of a sweet heart neckline there. Just so much drama and whatnot lol. Monte and Lori deserve a raise. XD
Well maybe we will have to get Catfud to model that dress, and show us the sweet heart neckline!
As the new Head of Honor Council, what do you think is your most important role in our clan?
I don't think any one roll is more important than all the others since it takes a lot of different people to make this clan run, and each councilor really does contribute a lot.
What do you think of the current state of the clan?
Lately I haven't seen nor heard anyone act up at all nor get out of hand, really, so everything has been running pretty smoothly. The worst cases I've come across recently were just people using a little profanity.
What would you change in the clan if possible?
One neat addition would be a monthly or yearly Brassica Prime day where on that day, we would all have huge cabbage bombs, and cover all of Runescape!
How do you want members to remember your term as Head of Honor Council?
Just in a positive way, I guess.
From Wise Ork:
How's life been treating you recently?
Pretty well overall. No complaints. :*
What does owning a Quest Cape mean to you?
That I never have to do another "small favor" for anyone ever again lol.
If you could tell me 1 thing before you died, what would that be?
Something shocking, confusing and a little spooky. An example would be like Neil Armstrong saying, "We aren't alone." right before he died lol.
Are you in love?
Not at the moment person-wise, but I do love chocolate milk with a passion. Lol it's soooo goood.
Hello Leo! How does it feel to be on the "hot seat"?
Hey, Liz! It makes me a little nervous, but I'll be okay lol.
I read somewhere ( I can't remember where exactly), that you would like to major in Engineering once you're in college. What inspired you to consider Engineering as a future career? Do you like Math? Do you like Science?
I'm in college now, actually lol, and in high school I went through this engineering academy program where I was able to learn all about many different areas of the field, and that's how I decided. It really is a fun major. And yes, I do like both math and science lol.
Which specialized field of Engineering are you considering to focus on? Why that specialty?
Computer and software engineering because I find programming fun, and also because some day I want to get more so into the side of making games and whatnot. ^^
Do you play any musical instrument(s)?
I wish lol. Would be awesome if I could play a piano or something like that. I've always liked that style of music. Hmm...well, if you include video games like Guitar Hero or Rock Band, or even just Youtube lol, then I can play many instruments lol.
Any favorite musical genre?
I can appreciate most genres, but my favorites would probably be like post-hardcore [Apparently, lol, I had to ask Ytse what it was called*, instrumental and...well, really pretty much anything except like country, blues or dubstep. Country isn't all bad, it's just I don't like it too much, and blues is pretty much the same way. Dubstep, though, I just can't stand. It sounds like someone is hurting a computer...
What's your favorite song(s) and who's your favorite artist/group?
Right now my favorite song is probably "Awake and Alive" by Skillet lol. I just can't stop listening to it lol. One of my favorite bands is ADTR. Loud introduced me to them, and they've stuck ever since.
Can you sing? Can you dance?
No and no lol. XD I'm horrible at both.
Does your RS name AlphaLeo have any correlation with you?
Yeah, actually. The "Alpha" part comes from my old best friend's RS account name, and the "Leo" part was added because I'm a Leo in the Zodiac.
If you could call yourself from 5 years ago, and had only thirty seconds to talk, what would you say?
I feel like I should say something along the lines of telling myself the winning lottery numbers lol, but I don't know. I'm pretty happy with my life, and so I don't really want to change anything, so I guess I would just tell myself to not worry about the future.
Do you have any pets?
When I was younger my family had a dog and some cats, and like a year or two ago, I had a collection of goldfish.
Is "now" the best time of your life so far?
Going to say no because things can always get better. ^^
Anything you want to mention, that we have not asked about?
Nothing comes to mind right now.
Oh, yes, can you please include a photo of yourself?
In the words of Consuela, "No...No...". I'm sorry, but I rather not. Even if I did want to, my camera always has such a difficult time connecting to my computer for some reason, so it would just be annoying to try to upload a picture. If it makes you feel any better, though, I have been told that I look like McLovin [Minus the glasses* from Superbad. In fact, in high school my old math teacher would always call me that lol.
Article by MsKonnan
Arzinian Being of Bordanzan - The Arzinian Being is believed to be aligned with Zaros because of the Ancient Symbol in its dwelling. It is first encountered in the quest "Between A Rock..." and comes from a plane known as Bordanzan of which very little is known. It guards the Arzinian gold mine that contains 146 gold rocks. If the rest of Bordanzan is equally populated by precious metals then this could explain why when Zaros ruled Gielinor his rule was considered "A Golden Age of Prosperity".
Assassin - Not much is known about the Assassin other than that he is currently employed by Azzanadra and has no qualms about killing monks. Also that he has a unique choice of weapon, a bowsword. It appears to have the telltale curve Katana-like Eastern Swords are famous for. The Assassin claims to use it because it is a versatile weapon and he is looking into sacred clay morphing weapons.
Barrows Brothers - The Barrows Brothers are Sliske's elite soldiers that he gifted with cursed armors that grant them special combat effects before he turned them into wights. Originally there were 6 but after the events of "Ritual of the Mahjarrat" Sliske attempts to turn the player into one but Akrisae shields us and becomes one himself. The Barrows Brothers and their armors' powers are:
Ahrim the Blighted: Blighted Aura, Successful magic attacks have a 20% chance of lowering the enemy's Strength by five levels repeatedly.
Akrisae the Doomed: Doom, Normal, or automatic attacks, have a chance to restore some of the user's prayer points while draining those of an enemy.
Dharok the Wretched: Wretched Strength, Maximum melee hit increases according to percentage of health the user has remaining maxing at 200% dmg.
Guthan the Infested: Infestation, Successful attacks have a chance of healing the wielder an amount of life points equal to the damage dealt.
Karil the Tainted: Karil's Taint, has a chance of reducing an enemy's Magic level by 5 on each hit.
Torag the Corrupted: Corruption, Successful melee attacks have a chance of lowering the enemy's adrenaline by 20%.
Verac the Defiled: Defiler, Attacks have a chance of ignoring the target's armor and any active protection prayers, potentially causing heavy damage.
Chaos Elemental - Almost nothing is known about this extremely cryptic creature. Given the name it is generally assumed loyal to Zamorak but has never taken sides before. This creature's true value is not in its combat abilities but rather in the fact that it can predict the future and occasionally writes coded hints about the future for anyone smart enough to attempt to decrypt. If it were ever to take sides such an ability could be invaluable.
Char - Char is believed to be Zaros' concubine and while that may just be senseless gossip she is most definitely a loyal follower of his that even received private lessons on some of his spells. She is believed to be the last of the Auspah which are a race of fire monsters that are named after the town they dwelled in.
Corporeal Beast - While the beast itself expresses no loyalties its power comes from the Spirit Realm and it is possible that the Spirit Realm and Shadow Realm are linked in which case Sliske could possibly compel this beast to obey him.
Dagannoth Mother - She is a particularly tricky monster to kill because to lower her shield a tuned bane ore weapon is required, and she then has a secondary ability to switch her weakness to either melee, range, or the 4 spell types at will. In addition if she is ever killed a new Dagannoth Mother will be born to replace her. Currently she is safely locked away but if that were to change capturing her again would be very difficult.
House Drakan - House Drakan is believed to be the only "True Vampyres" on Gielinor having come from the vampyre home world of Vampyrium. Other vampyres are believed to be transformed humans and Icyene. While the exact size of House Drakan and therefor number of pure vampyres is currently unknown the key players are:
Lord Lowerniel Vergidiyad Drakan: He has been on Gielinor for around 8,000 years and may have arrived fully matured so his age could easily be far greater than 8,000 and he is one of the only surviving creatures to fight against a god first hand. His power must have been truly impressive and if he hasn't deteriorated over the years since he could easily be one of the strongest mortals on Gielinor.
Vanescula Drakan: She is Lord Drakan's sister and as a result is likely around the same age as him. She is believed to be his only surviving close relative and plans to have him killed so she can inherit leadership of the Vampyres. In turn she has helped the resistance and even aided in the killing of several of her relatives. Her own personal power is immense but she much prefers to use people as pawns instead of getting her own hands dirty and risking self incrimination.
Malak: Is a vampyre noble of house Drakan, exact relation unknown, possibly not even a pure vampyre. However he is one of Zamorak's four elite warriors and was charged with protecting the Blood Diamond which kept Azzanadra imprisoned. Given that he traded the Blood Diamond as payment for an assassination it is assumed he is not particularly loyal to Zamorak despite being one of his elite as releasing Azzanadra seriously hurts Zamorak's faction.
Elder Demons - Elder Demons are extremely powerful demons, what exactly makes them Elder Demons has never been revealed but if it is similar to the Elder Gods it could mean these are some of the first demons to have existed. The only one mentioned so far is Thammaron who was loyal to Zamorak and died destroying the city of Uzer. Demons served under both Zaros and Zamorak so if all the Elder Demons are now loyal to Zamorak or not is unknown. The main notable difference between Elder Demons and regular demons is that Elder Demons leave behind bones apparently and not ashes.
God Wars Dungeon Generals - Most Gods have a Champion, or General they consider their second in command. At the start of the Third Age Zaros' General Nex was trapped in the Frozen Prison. Several centuries later the Armadylian Army was being chased down while carrying a precious artifact, The God Sword. They took refuge in the caves of the area and soon General Class monsters from every major following at the time poured into the caves to search for the God Sword. After briefly awaking Nex on accident and being forced to all work together to re-seal her or perish they then resumed fighting until Guthixian followers cast a second freezing spell on the entire dungeon towards the end of the Third Age. The Dungeon remained sealed until tectonic plate activities thawed it nearly 2 Ages later. The generals contained within and their closest followers are:
Nex: Loyal to Zaros, her history remains unknown however she appears to be a mix of Demon, Vampyre, Icyene, and Aviantese race. She is aided by Fumus, Umbra, Cruor, and Glacies four human mages who have each mastered one element from the Ancient Spellbook. Nex is unique in that she is the only General to have human followers so highly ranked and also the only General to have 4 guards instead of 3.
Kree'arra: Loyal to Armadyl, he is of Aviantese decent. He is aided by Flight Kilisa, Wingman Skree, and Flockleader Geerin. All of which are Aviantese.
K'ril Tsutsaroth: Loyal to Zamorak, he is of Demon origin, claimed to have been summoned and created by Bilrach. He is aided by Tstanon Karlak, Balfrug Kreeyath, and Zakl'n Gritch. All of which are demons, and of them Balfrug is particularly famous for destroying the desert city of Ullek.
Commander Zilyana: Loyal to Saradomin, She is of Icyene decent. She is aided by Starlight, Growler, and Bree. Her followers are a unicorn, a lion, and a centaur respectively. She is the only General to have guards with differing races.
General Graardor: Loyal to Bandos, he is suspected to be the last of the Ourgs. He is aided by Sergeant Strongstack, Sergeant Steelwill, and Sergeant Grimspike. All of which are goblins.
Kalphite King and Kalphite Queen - The Kalphite King and Exiled Kalphite Queen do not get along with the original Kalphite Queen having been banished for being out of her control. The Kalphite King is currently the strongest known monster on Gielinor and one of the most intelligent monsters in its use of combat abilities. The exact loyalties, if any, of the Kalphite King and Queens remain unknown, however the Kalphites were supposedly created from the blood of Scabaras meaning he may be incredibly powerful himself and the Kalphites could side with him.
King Black Dragon and Queen Black Dragon - The Queen Black Dragon is truly fearsome. She is mother to nearly every breed of dragon and one of the strongest monsters on Gielinor. She is incapable of using magic on her own so she imbues it into the tortured souls around her allowing her to cast time stopping magic. This incredibly powerful magic likely has to do with Kerapac creating her with his Lifeblood which is related to Jas the Elder God of Time. However her magic isn't the only thing to fear about her. If she were ever free a stomp attack or even just this massive dragon flapping her wings could probably level most towns. The King Black Dragon on the other hand is significantly weaker and was created by a different Dragonkin. With 3 heads that attack from every side of the combat triangle the King Black Dragon is still worth keeping an eye on.
Nomad - Nomad used to work for the Mahjarrat Lucien. It is believed he planned to usurp him and with Lucien's death nothing is known of his current goals. He built a soul siphoning machine at Soul Wars that allowed him to create powerful Avatars which rank tier 7 on the Godhood Scale. Therefore it is believed Nomad himself may be able to use certain Godly powers. His magic allows him to do several things including a soul sucking attack, make illusion clones, heal himself, and create mines.
Penance Queen - At birth penance spawn are all told what type of penance to grow into by the queen, if no order is given the spawn grows up to become a new queen. Much like the Dagannoth Mother in this way the Penance Queen never truly stays dead. The Queen attacks using a rapid range attacks that damage all enemies in a huge area and also by releasing penance spawns. She is only able to be damaged by Omega Eggs. Other than that all penance species have only 1 eye for some reason not much is known about them or why they are on Gielinor.
Solus Dellagar - Solus is another mage with enhanced abilities that worked with the Mahjarrat Lucien, participating in the zombie attack on Varrock with Zemouregal. He has killed so many people he has become known as "The Murder Mage" and his abilities include: Straddling or slowing down a teleport spell enough for him to be at the location he teleported from, the abyss, and the location he teleported to all at the same time. Greatly increasing the Flames of Zamorak spell damage to the point where it can reduce health to critical levels in a single cast. Also greatly increasing the Ice Barrage spell to the point where it can kill multiple knights in one cast. It seems that he is only able to use his powered up spells once and then he must wait to use them again and uses normal damage spells after that. It is possible this is an ability of some sort and not a spell itself. After the events of "Wanted!" he is now in the custody of the Temple Knights.
Tormented Demons and Glacors - During Lucien's time with The Staff of Armadyl and later on the Stone of Jas he experimented with summoning different kinds of demons to do his bidding. The two most powerful of those groups are the Tormented Demons and Glacors.
Tormented Demons have a shield that makes it so any damage against them is greatly lowered and it can only be removed temporarily by damaging them with Silverlight or Darklight. They also use protection prayers and switch prayers at a fixed amount of damage taken. In addition they attack with every aspect of the combat triangle and have powerful magic special attacks that hit long range.
Glacors are ice elementals. Glacors also use all 3 combat styles making them powerful enemies to fight even if they, like Tormented Demons, have a tell that informs their enemies of their attack style switch. Glacor special attacks include: Icicles which form a trail leading to their target and when they hit halve the lifepoints of anything in the square. Freezing their enemies in place, which can be highly effective when used with the previous special attack. Lastly summoning: When the Glacor is at half health it summons 3 Glacytes, it can not be damaged until those 3 Glacytes are dead and it will take on the ability of the last Glacyte killed and also increase its attack speed slightly for the end half of the fight. The Unstable Glacyte has a timer and when reached it will explode lowering 90% of its health and removing 1/3 the lifepoints of anything within a 3x3 square radius of it. If the Glacyte is not killed quickly after it explodes it will rapidly regenerate health and if the Glacor inherits this ability the explosive range is increased to a 5x5 square radius. The Sapping Glacyte will drain 5% of the targets prayer each time it hits which makes it the most harmful of the Glacytes and if the Glacor inherits this ability it will drain 10% prayer per hit. Lastly the Enduring Glacyte takes less damage the closer it is to its target. An Enduring Glacor takes a flat 60% less damage regardless of distance.
Needless to say these creatures are all impressive monsters and being enslaved by Lucien might have changed their loyalties but they are all demon offshoots so while they have never confirmed where their loyalties lie if they choose to support any faction it would give them a very impressive army.
Thingummywut - Little is known about this creature as the leading expert in them, Wizard Traiborn appears to be insane or senile. It is believed they are a summon of some kind and rumor says they may even be invisible. Their first appearance was in the quest "Love Story" where a single Thingummywut was able to scare off Zenevivia and Dionysius, two extremely powerful veteran wizards. It appears to be able to rapidly cast earth surge and be a giant of some kind.
TokHaar-Hok - TokHaar-Hok is the voice caste of TokHaar. They listen to the words of Elder Gods directly as they are believed to be the only ones strong enough and pass their orders down to the rest of the TokHaar. As the Elder Gods have slumbered for many thousands of years the TokHaar and TzHaar have taken to trials of combat to pass the time. As such both races are highly skilled in combat and host several combat events including the Fight Pits, Fight Caves, Fight Kiln, and Fight Cauldron. Also the TokHaar/TzHaar are almost immortal as once they die their Tokkul/Obsidian remains simply need to be returned to their birthing pools and they can be born again.
TzTok-Jad and Har-Aken - Both monsters are bosses for the respective Fight Caves and Fight Kiln mini-games run by the TzHaar and TokHaar. Jad is exceptionally dangerous capable of hitting over 7000 damage in one hit if its target isn't praying in any of the 3 combat styles. Har-Aken hides under the lava and can spawn and regenerate large numbers of tentacles. The tentacles attack with either Magic or Ranged and use Melee if their target gets close. The only way to kill Har-Aken is to destroy the head which can hide under the lava making this boss much more difficult to fight. Also any range or melee damage done to this boss is halved.
Zenevivia and Dionysius - These are two of the most powerful mages on Gielinor. Dionysius aka The Wise Old Man is a devout Saradominist and denies the existence of any Gods besides Saradomin, Guthix, and Zamorak. He has extensive knowledge of the teleport process and can teleport to nearly any location despite non-approved teleport locations being teleport blocked. He can also resist the power of the Ring of Charos which besides him only Vampyres seem capable of. His strongest spell incinerates his enemies vaporizing flesh, muscle, and then their organs. When cast against brick walls or other obstacles it has been known to cause explosions. He is also able to force people out of his head and terminate the npc contact spell on his own. He can even cast Fire Wave over great distances and into other dimensions when angered. He is also capable of teleporting short distances which is even harder than long distance teleporting and uses it to confuse his enemies. His Saradomin Strike spell uses different runes than the spellbook suggests and hits much harder. Besides magic he is also extremely skilled with most weapons and once shattered the Kalphite Queen's shell with a kick. Zenevivia also uses short range teleports and powerful magics although she uses the Ancient Spellbook and has a fire spell that lights the area around her enemies ablaze and damages anything inside the area. Zenevivia has no loyalties other than herself though perhaps her love for the Wise Old Man could persuade her to fight for Saradomin.
I hope you enjoyed my guide on the plot and happenings of RuneScape. the content was gathered largely from the Lores and histories section of the main site, in game quests, and runescapewiki.
Article by Wolfie
~ by Lizbeth ~
Grilled Salmon with Mustard Barbeque Sauce
Mustard Barbeque Sauce:
½ cup Dijon mustard
3 Tbsp clover honey
1 Tbsp light-brown sugar
3 Tbsp rice-wine vinegar or
1 tsp soy sauce
Few dashes Tabasco sauce
¼ tsp Kosher salt or ordinary table salt
¼ tsp freshly ground black pepper
Whisk together all ingredients in a bowl; cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour and up to 24 hours before using. The longer the sauce sits in refrigerator, the better the flavor becomes. Bring to room temperature before using.
4 salmon fillets, 8 oz. each
2 Tbsp canola oil or olive oil
Salt and freshly ground pepper
- Heat the grill to high
- Brush the salmon fillets on both sides with the oil and season with salt and pepper to taste. Grill the salmon on each side until golden brown and cooked medium-well-done, about 4 minutes per side, brushing with some of the sauce every few minutes. Remove the salmon from the grill and immediately drizzle the top of each fillet with more of the sauce. Serve remaining sauce on the side.
Note: You can also bake or broil the salmon and cook it using the sauce with 2 Tbsp of oil. Bake for 20 minutes or until flaky at 350 degrees. Broil for about 20 minutes or depending on how well cooked you would like it to be.
Article by LizBeth
Two Poets are featured this month.
A medieval love lesson
by Wise Ork
You know all those stories with knights who are heroes
But this one has a plot twist which I specially chose.
A boy in the days, not too old, not too young
Wanted to show his great king that he was quite strong.
He took some old gear and began on his quest
Never could he know the important final test.
He travelled the world and slew many things
Word spread fast, and he got known to many kings
They all asked him the same for a few bags of gold:
To slay many things until he was old
But as he neared the end, looking back at his life
Despite being a hero, he did not have a wife.
Now he regrets the time he spent killing;
Wishes he could trade it for a heart worth filling.
His wish never came true, he's been dead now for years.
Any adventurer who hears his story has to wipe a few tears.
Now with this poem I hope to make it clear:
I am a hero, and I want you to keep me here.
by Niclole Angel
Let's settle this once and for all
if we don't, it'll be a massive downfall
People, no matter how large or small
their minds we must enthrall
There really is no need for spited hate
we must stop oppression, before it's too late
All these fights and wars we must deflate
think of the good our love can create
Peace and liberty we must instate
even if we need a UN mandate
Think of everyone as a teammate
you have their back, it should be innate
Every person has a bond
like water molecules in a pond
We need every single person to respond
to help suffering and beyond
The way we stare to judge people
like we are looking through a narrow tunnel
Why must there always be a quarrel
even nicer you treat your rival
So many of our problems are racial
it's almost like we were always evil
Yet, I have faith in humankind
we can see, we're not blind
The sinking tension we must unwind
but first we must share a common mind
So help me god, be more inclined
our dreams and fates are all aligned
Live everyday like it is your last
it doesn't mean to live in the past
The possibilities are just so vast
Use the knowledge you have amassed
Treat everyone like a brother and sister
like something of a well protected treasure
Fight for them if they are meager
even if they’ve done wrong and is a sinner
This world is all about change
Positive progress is in range
I don’t know if you find it strange
But our future we should arrange
To do this, we must understand each other
Step in their shoes, think, contemplate, be clever
Don’t be deceit yourself like an actor
Be the solution, heal, be a doctor
People around the world are hurting everyday
What do we do? We just watch in dismay
Images and stories they portray
Yet we do nothing, we just pray
Just like the Once-ler, we wait till someday
But too late, they’re gone today
And through all this, what are we to say?
That we tried? Even when they fell prey?
Not good enough.. everything we’ve done was a bluff
We have it so good, while they have it rough
Our resources wasted, just like deadweight
Think of everyone else, go help, go donate
Even if you can’t, do something, coordinate
If it helps, think of their deathrate
It is not something we can debate
We know the truth, but we just wait
And while we wait, people cremate
If no one leads, you should dictate
Make sure everything goes according to date
Try your best, awaiting every update
Carry the burden, shoulder the weight
Above all, we should all try to relate
Let's burst together, through the gate
If it brings us closer, it must be fate
Article by Wise Ork
Aries (21 March – 20 April)
Taurus (21 April – 21 May)
Gemini (22 May – 22 June)
Cancer (23 June – 23 July)
Leo (24 July – 23 August)
Virgo (24 August – 23 September)
Article by LizBeth
1. G R E V E
2. B I O R N
3. T R E E R V
4. B A C F I R
5. R I H E K
6. I N A G A
7. L O D O N E
8. P A M C I T
Article by LizBeth
Should you be Institutionalized?
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time. This little test should help you get started.
During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the criteria is that defines if a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub. Then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask the patient to empty the bathtub."
Okay, here's your test:
1. Would you use the spoon?
2. Would you use the teacup?
3. Would you use the bucket?
"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would choose the bucket, as it is larger than the spoon."
What was the director's response?
A farmer challenges an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician to fence off the largest amount of area using the least amount of fence.
The engineer made his fence in a circle and said it was the most efficient.
The physicist made a long line and said that the length was infinite. Then he said that fencing half of the Earth was the best.
The mathematician laughed at the others and with his design, beat the others. What did he do?
Given the word STANDARD, take away two letters and add three digits to make a logical sequence.
Does this look like a spiral? It's actually a bunch of concentric circles. Use your mouse to trace one circle and you will see that you come back to where you started instead of spiraling into the center.
Article by MsKonnan
by Wise Ork
I'm very old and belong to something great
Yet I am only valued by the priests of late
My fiery roots obey not a single god
Yet I am sent to meet a lot
I am a quest unrelated to speed
Yet my tale is about a man in need
A new can of paint is your well-earned reward
But also a broken square for which you worked so hard
I am a quest of horror, yet come not from the deep
I probably involve mankind's trickiest leap
Peter Pan would surely be jealous of my friends
As I am the quest that just never ends
I am the Wise Old Man, my turn to speak now
Of all the answers, take 14, 22, 35, 310; that's how
Send a whisper to Ork through this offsite of yours
And tell him the answer, for a prize of course
This time, try solving them on your own :D
~!~ ***** ~!~
Article by Wise Ork
A few weeks ago a challenge was posted in the general forum. Members were asked to make up a story using a list of 'slogan's they were given. (The slogans are the underlined words in the story). This challenge was accepted by Umbra Sapien, also known as Jas Hook. Our first story has been posted there, just in time for this issue of the magazine. Here it is with the author's discriptive own words.
By Jas Hook
In an age long gone by, a time that is now shrouded by much mystery and manipulated records, much of the land was devastated by the brutal and seemingly endless God Wars. In the absence of a ruling god, gods from other lands quickly seized up Gielinor, attempting to claim its inhabitants and its resources for their own causes. A land that had once been Guthix's own personal happiest place on earth was desperately unprepared. Confusion and chaos reigned supreme – generals turned on their own commanders, and brother fought against brother as they became more loyal to ideals and less loving towards each other. The formidable armies of Zaros posed perhaps the greatest threat, striking from the shadows and protecting themselves in practically impenetrable fortress cities. However, in the war-torn North, Zaros was betrayed by his most trusted general, plunging his armies into discord and increasing the frenzy for a victory from another god. Zaros cursed his conspirators and fled the realm, vowing to return. Even so, his armies did not vanish with him.
The forces of Saradomin, Zamorak, Armadyl and Bandos still fought on, each yearning for domination of the land. But even in exile, the might of Zaros proved too great for any one of them to defeat. Eventually the gods realized that before any end to this war would be reached, Zaros would have to be dealt with. And so, the first and only alliance meeting of the gods was called.
The four warring gods gathered around a great table that had been prepared with a feast, in some neutral territory that still remained untouched by the war.
Saradomin called the meeting to order; his words were kind enough, but the hostility in his voice was evident. “Greetings, friends. I know we have -”
“Where's the beef?!” Bandos cut him off, extremely unhappy about the apparent lack of bloody meat in the dinner spread. Saradomin eyed him warily.
“If you're quite finished...” Bandos nodded in reply, but still looked less than satisfied.
Saradomin began again, “Now, we may no longer face threat from Zaros himself, but none of us alone have the power or forces to defeat his general, Nex. Until we do, we may as well act as if it's the real thing. We may all have different causes, but in this we are united.”
Armadyl nodded in agreement, but Zamorak merely grinned contentedly.
Bandos babbled on in the corner of the room - “Puny humans! So tasty... finger lickin' good!”
Saradomin sighed, “Bandos, please -” but he was cut off once again.
“The bones go... snap! Snap, crackle, pop! Hahaha!”
Zamorak joined in snidely, “Oh yes... human is delicious isn't it? Melts in your mouth, not in your hands, am I right?”
Saradomin turned a stoney gaze on Zamorak, firmly stating “Do. Not. Encourage. Him.”
They sat in silence for a few moments, until finally Armadyl put forth the first valid solution of the meeting. “Why not simply surround the major cities in an all out assault? Eventually that damned creature would have to show itself, and there's no possibility it can take us all at once. Let's just do it.” Saradomin pondered this for a moment, but then disagreed.
“I don't think destroying Nex is the answer.” In the background, Zamorak made a gagging motion. Saradomin rolled his eyes and continued, “I think it would be better to trap Zaros's army – those shadowy beings might just come back if we destroy them. Smoke doesn't really vanish... it just lifts and separates, and comes together again somewhere else.”
Zamorak chimed in, “You don't know Nex all that well, do you? Takes a licking and keeps on ticking, that one does...”
“Well, do you have a solution to offer?” Saradomin asked, with hostility. However, on being addressed Zamorak just went back to his stoic silence.
“What about the elf god?” Armadyl inquired hesitantly. “Those diamonds over in the West... I think those could hold anything. After all, a diamond is forever.”
“We don't even know if she's real or still alive,” Saradomin replied.
“But listen, does she or doesn't she -”
“It's not an option.” Armadyl fell silent, and they all sat once again in silence.
“Anyone want some of the food?” Saradomin asked after a painfully awkward length of time.
Armadyl alone answered, replying, “No. I only eat fresh, and all this looks grossly ill prepared.”
Suddenly, they all realized that Bandos hadn't smashed anything or yelled any nonsense in a while and found him missing from the meeting. How a creature so large and gangly as him had disappeared was completely beyond them. After a few minutes of searching, there was a loud bang from underneath the table, where they found Bandos sound asleep, snoring and talking in his sleep.
“Mmm, tasty runt humans... I'm lovin' it... mushy, mushy...”
Frustratedly, Zamorak cut in, “Look, just let my army route his forces to yours, and we cut them off effectively. Just leave the driving to us, and it can't go wrong.”
Saradomin eyed him distrustfully. “That doesn't sound bad... but why are you here? You used to be one of his pawns, how do we know we can trust you? Why would you help us?”
Zamorak replied, dripping with honeyed sarcasm, “Because you are worth it.” Saradomin rolled his eyes, an action that was quickly becoming a theme of the meeting.
From under the table, Bandos snored, “Everything goes better with coke... crunchy... everything goes better with blood...” Saradomin grimaced with disgust, wondering vaguely what that monster must dream about.
“What if it doesn't work?” Armadyl asked grimly.
“Well then, I supposed we try harder.” Saradomin answered with authority, and a new found confidence in his chances of victory in this war. “For now, we are the ocean, and we must clean the scum from the shore... tides in – dirt out. Enough of this for now though, we'll reconvene and compose our final plans soon.” Saradomin turned to teleport away, but was interrupted by Zamorak.
“One last thing...” Zamorak spoke slowly, with a childish grin, “Do you always wear that stupid crown?”
“Oh yes, I don't leave home without it.” Saradomin winked at the three remaining gods and vanished, off to plan the rest of his campaign to conquer Gielinor.
Article by MsKonnan