TriangleArrow-Left.svgJanuary 2014 Issues of the Questaholic Magazine March 2014TriangleArrow-Right.svg

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Interview with

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by Miss Alaska

Gardenchick, or commonly known as Sarah, is a much loved Low Councillor in Clan Quest. An all around pro at RuneScape, she's one to watch with the xp gains, showing off some astounding figures in the 2013 Clan Quest xp event. Maintaining a high position on the game's official hiscores table, Gardenchick is clearly a veteren skiller...but not one of the crazy 'xp waste' noobs (well, not too much we hope :P). For someone standing at such a respected position in both the clan and the game in general, it's about time we interviewed Sarah and found out more about the person behind the player.

So, which would you prefer - Gardenchick or Sarah? I know most tend to use your real name but I thought I'd ask first 15- icon wink.gif

I like my friends to call me Sarah, and also my clan mates. I don't really like it when strangers know my name though, since it makes me think I should know them when I dont. I also like my runescape name and like Garden or Chick.

When and how did you start playing RuneScape?

I had some surgery on my knee in February 2007, couldnt really leave the house, ran out of books to read, and tv was boring. My sons had been playing runescape already on F2P and they suggested I try it. And I really liked it.

What were your fondest memories of the game? How did you fare during your 'noob days'?

My fondest memories of the game occured the summer I got 120 dungeoneering and I received my completionist cape. We had a regular group of dungeoneers, probably 15 or so, and we met on the dungeoneering world, always in one corner, to start up teams. We dungeoneered a lot!, usually on skype, and got to know each other very well.
My noob days, oh my! Well I had very little experience with any type of video games at that point, I had trouble even walking around, I didn't know how to move by clicking on a minimap, etc. My sons teased me for being such a noob.

How did you manage to place so far up on the hi scores? Were you aiming for it? (also, what's your current position? I keep forgetting 1- icon biggrin.png)

After I comped, I didnt want to go for trim because I despise castle wars, so I thought I would work on gaining xp and just went for 200 mil in ranged. I don't feel like I go crazy about it though. I attribute my success gaining levels to other people quitting while I kept playing. Last I checked hiscores, I was ranked about 184. I have been losing ranks a lot lately though.

What do you like to do when you're not on the game?

I love to read, I like tv shows with my husband, I bowl in a bowling league, I like cooking, shopping and traveling. I watch a lot of my16 year old son's sporting events: soccer and basketball. I also garden, and sew and enjoy interior decorating, but I dont do that as much any more since everything in my home is done now.

What's your occupation?

I am currently a stay at home mom. I am trained as an accountant and have a Masters in Business Administration, but I am currently not working in my profession. I quit my job when my first son was born. Prior to playing runescape, I used to do a lot of volunteer work. I was a cub scout leader for 5 years and served as the treasurer for the cub scout pack for 3 years. These volunteer positions just happened to end at the time I started playing runescape.

What's one thing you'd like to see happen for yourself in the next ten years?

I wish it wasn't happening, but I find myself aging and slowing down. So what I want to do before its too late is More Travel! I want to go to Rome and see Venice before its covered with water. I want to see Alaska, and climb a glacier (doing that this summer I hope), I also want to see the Netherlands and Belgium, I have never set foot in those countries. After that I am not sure. I just hope I stay healthy enough to keep it up for many more years, as well as staying solvent enough to afford it.

Santa Ends
Hey Garden,
What's your oldest holiday item?

My first holiday event was Easter 2007 and I got the chicken set. That same year was the grim reaper hood, which i somehow missed. 3- icon sad.gif

Have you ever got scammed by people in the game? If yes, what did you do next?

A couple times. The first time when trading for a rune platebody, they swapped an item and I think I got mithril instead of rune. Then there was a time when i got a Granite Plate and a "friend" asked to try it on so he could see its stats. He promptly logged out after the trade and deleted me. I got less trusting after those times.

Have you ever struggled with using computers? (I could never imagine my mum playing RS, haha.)

BEST QUESTION AWARD! Yes I do very much. I feel like I am on a level playing field as far as game play, I know how to do research and stuff. But, I have never had any formal training in using a pc. Some things I dont know how to do, or forget how to do them promptly after being told. Other things I don't even know you can do. As an example, I can not remember how to post a picture or transfer a picture from my computer to the website. I have done it a couple times, and probably took an hour each time. Lucky for me I am terrible at TOG so usually am not asked to post a picture 1- icon biggrin.png

Does your children still play this game now and then?

Both of them used to play, they both quit, but the older one started playing during his break from college this winter and is still playing a bit now. He says "Hi Mommy" when he sees me on. Some of my fondest memories are from my interactions with them in the game. Do you remember how hard it was to get herblore flasks way back? One year for my birthday, my younger son bought 1000 plant cures, emptied them one by one, and then filled them with water. It was the sweetest present I ever received. Tears still fill my eyes when I think of it, it took him about 3 or 4 hours to do it.

What keeps you playing scape? What's your favourite aspect, beside questing? How do you find time for it? I really admire parents who take time off to do something they like.

I like having goals, and RS keeps putting them out there for me. Quests are my favorite aspect as they are the backbone of this game, they are the purpose for everything else. I just wish I could remember all of the storylines as well as you younger folk do. Quest cape was my first cape and I was very proud of it.

Your name suggest you like gardening. Is that true?

Yes, I considered getting formal training (there is a degree called a master gardener degree) when i was working on my own property. I put in about 2000 perennials around my property in different beds. I did a lot of research on what would grow in my climate, soil type, staggered bloom times, color combinations, sun/shade areas, with my particular pests - rabbits, lots and lots of voracious ones. But I decided against it when I thought I didn't want my hobby to feel like work. I helped a lot of friends with plant selections, traded plants, etc. The thing about perennials is that they keep coming back, so I dont have to do as much now.

What about enjoying nice formal gardens?

I do like to look at them, I love seeing different combinations of plants. I consider it an artform.

Do you enjoy nature in general?

Its almost a religious feeling when I see different things: a forest transformed in autumn, fresh fallen snow, spring flowering trees in all their gaudy colors. I love wandering my garden in early spring, waiting for the tiny shoots of plants to start appearing from the barren ground.

What 99 are you the most proud of?

Probably crafting. It was my first non-combat cape. I had very little money back then and I used very many tactics to get the raw materials to craft for 99. I even logged in on the ships computer every day during a cruise to buy battlestaffs from Baba Yaga. I felt very happy when I got that cape.

Are you looking forward to the new skill?

Yes, I always love a new challenge.

How do you see RuneScape in the future? What do you think should be added or changed? What should definitely stay the way it is?

I hope Runescape can stay firmly in the middle ages, without too much technology, and stay balanced between skills and combat. I would like to see quests more often of course! I think Jagex needs to improve their marketing for new players. They have been concentrating on retaining their veterans, but more new players are necessary I think.

Sarah! *Hugs* How are you?

*Hugs* Liz!

What's your impression of RuneScape3 ? Do you like it better than the old RuneScape?

I like most of the changes for RS3. Graphics keep getting better, love all the tasks sets, I even like Soloman's store and bonds. However, still not sure the Evolution of Combat was necessary. It makes some things harder and I have yet to see the benefits.

Sarah hunny, I need to get you into bossing and make you see what EoC can do for you 1- icon biggrin.png

The very first time that you played RS, what was (were) your favorite thing(s) to do?

I started in F2P. My sons told me I needed a skill to start earning money for armor and such. So I chose mining. I spent a lot of time in the dwarven mine.

What do you find appealing about the game?

The broad scope of the game. There are so many aspects to it. You almost can't know everything, and just when you start to think you do, Jagex will change things. 2- icon smile.gif

Was there ever a time when you considered quitting?

Yes, when Dungeoneering came out. I tried dungeoneering with randoms and had all sorts of rudeness thrown at me. I thought, " I can't do this". And the rates of xp to solo the floors was terrible. Funny thing though, dungeoneering became my highlight in Runescape later on.

What's your favorite color?

Green - the color of nature, money and my eyes!

Are you a bookworm? If you are, what's your all time favorite novel? Who's your favorite author?

I am a bookmoth - worms are disgusting! How can I pick a favorite! I like too many genres. Okay I'll try to pick a few. George Martin, Julian May (sci-fi/fantasy),Phillippa Gregory (historical European fiction), Alexandre Dumas, Veronica Roth (Divergent series), Gillian Flynn, Jane Austen, Ayn Rand. There are many more, looking for a good book sometime? Send me a pm on offsite for a recommendation.

If you're not playing RS, what do you do on your spare time?

Nothing spectacular, read, watch tv and movies, bowl, garden.

When did you join Clan Quest and how did you find out about this amazing clan?

I joined in August 2012, but I knew about it for a long time before that. I met Rerecros cooking in the cooking guild and he told me about it. He told me about the Draziw and that the clan was amazing. I met Nicole Angel, after that, and she tried to recruit me, but I was in a different clan at that time. Just happened to run into the Draziw at the time I left my previous clan, and joined Clan Quest after that meeting.

From the time that you joined the clan, would you say the clan is perfect as it is? Does it need some improvement? If it needs some improvement, in what areas would that be?

Its the best clan I have ever been in, with the best people! If I knew ways to improve it, I would suggest them. Oh I have one. Liz.. come back and play more often, and hang in the clan chat!

Does you family ever mind if you play the game a lot? Does your son or husband play it, too?

My husband is a gamer, and a bit of a loner. I am sure he minds when I get crazy about leveling something, but he really doesnt complain. My kids complain, though, when I am so involved that I dont hear them talking to me, lol.

Have you met any of the players (both clan mates and in game friends) in real life?

Yes, I have met one so far. I would like to meet more.

Would you advice such personal meetings to those who might be thinking of considering it? If yes, why? If not, why?

Okay, if you are an adult, and you have had contact with the people on phone, or skype, or other ways so that you really think they are who they say they are, and you are careful to meet in a public place, I would advise it. Perhaps you can bring someone with you also. If you have any doubts whatsoever, dont do it.

Thank you for sharing your garden photos with us. Do you have more? Tell us about your lovely garden and home.

Hi MsK. 2- icon smile.gif Thanks for the compliment. I have lots of photos, many of them arent digital, since I had this really amazing camera that took panoramic shots before. Bah, technology, I need to get those scanned and put on offsite for you. As I said before, I'm technologically challenged.

Is it your love of the garden that inspired your RS name?

Yes, absolutely. I didn't even know about farming or herblore when I picked it.

Do you have any pets? What is the strangest animal which ever shared your home?

We have no pets at the present. We had fish and turtles in the past. We are on the road a lot with our son's traveling soccer team, and having pets would cause a lot of inconvenience because of that.

Would you consider yourself a dog lover or cat lover, horses, or what?

Years ago I used to ride horses, my brother owned two. We used to go to the stable where he kept his horses. Horses are amazing, I got to ride the same horse every week, his name was Tyrone. His owner stopped riding it, and he needed exercise. I even entered a horse show riding Tyrone. He was beautiful. If I got a pet though, I would probably get a dog. I like cocker spaniels.

Do you have a favorite RS pet?

My favorite runescape pet is my white baby monkey. His name is Peanut. I had to let Peanut go for the Karamja task set and catch a new one. I named the new monkey Peanut also.

I know Draz recruited you, (sponsored you). How did you meet up with him in game?

See my response to Liz's question please. Also, my friend Mikey was with me when we met up with Draz. I had been talking to Mikey about clan quest, but that it wasnt recruiting atm. He told Draz, "Sarah needs a clan, and you really should get her for yours, before she chooses another." Draz said he would sponsor me.

Do you see yourself playing RS for a long time to come? What is the most satisfaction that you get from playing this game?

I probably will play this game until it ends. I dont see myself getting attached to any other game in the way I am attached to this one. But one never knows. I get a lot of satisfaction when I finally do something that was hard at the beginning. Like mastering dungeoneering bosses or Jad, or bosses in general.

Have you any ideas to share with us about skilling, and how to make the 'grinding' skills more fun?

A lot of this depends on your situation. Set goals for daily gains and track them using xp trackers such as Runetrack. Or race another person, or do it with another person. If its truly afkable, like divination, you could watch tv/movies, while u train. I rewatched all of the episodes of Game of Thrones while training Divination.

Do you play afk very much? Was it more fun when the 'evil chicken' randomly appeared to wipe you out when you were not looking?

I dont as a rule like afk skills that much. I tend to want to be engaged by the game, or talking in cc, or pm while i play. However, I still lose track of game progress when talking, lol. I dont miss evil chicken at all.

Sarah, it's been a pleasure getting to know you better in this interview and hearing about some of your fond memories in RuneScape, as well as you real life interests has been lovely. I myself can relate to a lot of what you said, about 'shy' dungeoneering, the fact that RuneScape will always be the game where the heart stays, and how the game is more enjoyable when you're engaging and not afk skilling...just to name a few. I'm sure a lot of the clan can relate to things you mentioned in this interview. From a fellow Geroge R. R. Martin fan, thank you for allowing us to interview you.
~!~ ***** ~!~

Article by Miss Alaska

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1. Vyrewatch- Easy melee xp
Credits to Meru. He told me about this when he maxed his melee combat.

At the darkmeyer, the vyrewatch are aggressive towards you if you are not wearing darkmeyer disguise (The whole set). If you turn auto retaliate and momentum on, and go to the area stated below, you can get roughly 120k melee xp per hour while afking pretty much, except for the occasional food or prayer potion if you need.

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There is an altar up the stairs if you need free prayer points. Quite useful for soulsplit.

2. Cheap smithing experience.

Suggested by Msk and Linkvi. Thanks for the input!

I mentioned previously SC tools work by giving stored bonus xp now.

It stacks with goldsmith gauntlets and blacksmith outfit (exluding gloves). Bring superheat spells to Living Rock Caverns, store some bonus xp in smithing and superheat while you mine the gold ores. Then, use the toolbar to drop your gold bars and repeat.

Gold ore base xp: 22.5
Goldsmith gauntlets (2x), blacksmith outfit (full) (extra 4%) and bonus xp= 404% of 22.5 = 90.9 xp per gold ore smelted.
Cost of nature runes ~ 300 gp
So it's about 3.3xp/gp. It is considered very cheap for smithing, there are much more expensive methods like mithril ceremonial swords.

High alching stops the continuous mining of the concentrated coal as it takes far too long. If you high alch, you mine less gold ore, resulting in less gold bars being made, less smithing xp.

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Got a tip or two to share with fellow questers? Give me a private message on the offsite and if I use it, I will credit you.

Article by SantaEnds

~!~ ***** ~!~

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Falling in Love with Your Best Friend

~ LizBeth ~

When it comes to falling in love, the trickiest part is when you start having some kind of special feelings for your best friend. There is no denying that it would surely feel awkward, especially, when you know each other’s habits, quirks, and obsessions. You’ve been there to see the good, the bad, and you’ve stuck with them through thick and thin. One or both usually develops feelings for the other, although, not always at the same time. Whether you are a guy or a girl falling for your best friend is never easy. There always comes the day when you realize that your “friend” has chosen to date someone else and you wish they were with you. So, how do you handle this without destroying your friendship and still have the possibility that, perhaps, your friend feels the same way you do?

If your friend is dating someone else there is not a whole lot you could do. Sabotaging their relationship will make you look like the bad guy. It would be best to just wait for the right moment. If fate is in your favor, you would have the chance to confess your feelings at some point in time. If ever that relationship ends, you are the person they would likely to run to…hopefully. Although that appears to be a perfect timing to express your feelings, it might not be the ideal time to spill your guts. Give them space and time to recover. When the day comes for you to unfold your feelings, be prepared for an array of reactions from your friend. It could be from being appalled to being pleasantly surprised.

What if they continue to be with someone else? If you cannot make your feelings known because your friend is with someone else you may have to back down. The relationship they are in may even give conflict with your friendship and could put an irreparable rift. “If it’s meant to be, it will be” is always easier said, but a lot harder to live with. Respect their choices. If there’s no hope in sight, move on. There is no sense in waiting all your life if you can see that your friend is already happy with the present relationship.

Some of the best romances started out as friendships and love is often based on being best friends. Situations are always different for every individual. The end result is ultimately up to you. If friends could be lovers then life would be so much sweeter.

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Steps, Tips, and Warnings

This article is mainly for the guys, but the girls could benefit from it, too.

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* Assess your personalities. Are they compatible? You've likely seen your best friend in a relationship with someone else before. Are they flirty with other men even when they're not single or do they become all-consumed in a relationship with someone? Examine their (and your own) common traits when dating someone and see if you can handle them.

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* Look at your habits. Does she do things which completely irritate you (and vice versa)? If so, the chances of lasting in a long-term relationship will be affected. Annoying habits are easy to brush over for a few months before they become all you notice.

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* Understand your abilities to compromise. There's way more give-and-take in a relationship than there is in a friendship. Can you truly accommodate each others wants and needs? Can you do so maturely?

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* Assess your abilities to trust. If you're already best friends, you already knew each others' secrets and some very personal information about one another. Can you trust your friend not to fall in love with someone else again or use that information against you if you break up?

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* Understand the attraction. If the attraction is mostly physical, a fling may not be worth damaging such a close friendship over. If you don't want to risk the mental component of your relationship, look at finding a casual sex partner elsewhere.

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* Observe if she has the same feelings for you. Remember, she might look at you as a brother-figure and then be shocked when you tell her how you feel about her. This could ruin everything, but it could also make the relationship better. Weigh the risks against the possibilities. Be careful about coming out too suddenly or openly. No matter what you have to say, there's always a gentle way to say it.

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* Take your time. Don't tell her right away. Drop subtle comments like, "You know, we've been friends for a long time," or "What would I do without you?" These are essentially harmless displays of affection toward her. However, don't drop them too often because you will risk being too obvious.

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* Spend some time together. Enjoy the same activities you always have as best friends. Show her that you're fun to be around.

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* Use humor. If you both have a sense of humor, tell each other jokes you like. It serves to entertain you both (and if you're lucky, you may get emotionally little closer before you even properly realize). If you have an inside joke, use it when it fits the situation.

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* Be there for her. It's important to understand what she needs. If she wants a shoulder to cry on, offer one. If she's cold, lend your jacket. Over time, she's bound to notice how great you are. You need to make sure she sees what a great boyfriend you would make and starts thinking about the idea herself. Remember to be there for her because you care about her, not because you expect anything in return.

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* Be patient. If you're lucky and compatible, things will work out. Most relationships are made long in advance and are just waiting to happen.

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* Tell her how you feel. This is often easier for a guy than a girl because most girls are pretty considerate of feelings. Give her a chance to understand you and when you think the time is right, tell her what you think. Of course, you may risk ruining and/or losing your friendship, or at least changing it even if you don´t want to. But if it turns out lucky, then she will be even more considerate of you and your feelings.

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* Be prepared for rejection. If she doesn't end up liking you back, stay cool. Be casual and try not to let the friendship get awkward. Try to get things back to the way they were before.

• It's very hard to keep your feelings inside when you're young, so you might have given her a lot of signs that you're interested long ago. She might even know about it and just be hiding it.
• Take your time. She's not like any other girl because she probably tells you all of her secrets. If you surprise her, she might be really embarrassed. Perhaps she just wants you to be her friend.
• If she gets a boyfriend during the time you are trying to be with her, be nice to her and there for her. Put your plans to pursue something further on hold.
• The odds are in your favor if you just tell her your feelings. Often times, girls are likely to fall for their close guy friends.
• If you express your feelings and she doesn't respond positively, drift away from her for a bit. This is going to be very hard, but it's worth it. She'll notice you are somewhat distant. She might realize she has missed you and your friendship may therefore be restored.
• If you still have been unable to tell her after a long period, you may find yourselves in situations where you speak a lot less to each other, if at all. Break the ice. When the time is right and you two are alone in a good place, go and talk to her. A good opener would be something like, "Am I just imagining this or are you avoiding me?" Watch how she responds. Does she try to keep the conversation as short as possible or does she talk openly?
• If she expresses any negative emotion, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you outright. Maybe she has never thought about the two of you dating. She actually might need time to think about it. Don't just say you were kidding! She will either see through your lie or think it´s a cruel joke.
• If you decide to tell her, say something about it being okay if you just want to be friends and that you can get over it if she doesn't feel that way. Tell her you couldn't keep it to yourself any longer, but you can deal with it if she doesn't feel the same way.
• If you are going to tell her your feelings, talk to her personally. Don't use text messages or e-mail. Don't tell her in public because she might get very embarrassed. Also don't do it drunk because it will be very awkward the next morning, especially if neither of you remember.
• Practice some chivalry. Open a door for her or introduce her to new friends and acquaintances when one goes by.
• Don´t be insecure or desperate. This turns off any lady. Develop confidence, but be careful not to slide to arrogance either.
• Read articles that give advice to girls on falling in love with your best friend. You can then see what she might be looking for.
• Appreciate your relationship as friends. Love her, never make her regret anything and be there for her. You've been given the chance others would die for.
• If you do choose to tell her how you feel while she has a boyfriend, expect the worst. It's unlikely she will drop him for you. Whatever you do don't try to split them up, if she seems doubtful about her relationship with her boyfriend its not a time to make them doubts blossom you'll be the one who comes off worst. Try as much as you like to show her, her boyfriend's negatives she'll defend him to the death and be the first to insult him. Don't forget your friendship, it's easy when you have these emotions to forget why you fell in love with your best friend in the first place. If you're not careful you won't just lose the girl you love but also your best friend.
• If you aren't naturally fun or exciting, seek someone who is and who´s willing to help those who need it.
• When and if they break up, do not give her the attention she wants. Be there for her a little bit and then go back to being her good friend. If you talk to her while she is in the relationship or right after it's over, you will be stuck in the friend zone.
• If you have that kind of open friendship where you also discuss your love lives and she asks you if you have anyone on your mind lately, or she asks you about a girl you previously dated or that you show interest in, then casually say, "No, not really. Just you. I've been thinking about how hot you are." Laugh and say you're kidding. Little jokes like that lighten the mood and can make it easier to proceed to talk about this topic. After you make some kind of joke like this, try to tell her that you have no one in mind and you're open to finding anyone new.
• You will feel sad during this time, but don't let it get to you and don't let her see it! Try picking up other girls. She'll notice that and may get very jealous.
• Buy clothes you find stylish and comfortable and wear them as often as possible.


• If you tell her and she isn't interested, steer clear of rubbing your feelings in and trying to make her love you. You'll lose a very good friend.
• Even if you do get together, this can spell utter doom for the friendship. You might get together, but what if you break up later on? Even if it's mutual, you would be seeing your former lover in the arms of other people. How would that make you feel? Be mindful of the future.
• This can be a very tricky situation. If you truly love her, you will know in your heart and the truth will want to come out. Pick a good moment to tell her and it may just work out your way.

Source: How to Deal with Falling in Love with Your Best Friend

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Article by LizBeth

22- star3.png22- star3.png22- star3.png Astrological Concepts 22- star3.png22- star3.png22- star3.png
~ by LizBeth ~
Your Horoscope for the Month of February, 2014

Aries (21 March – 20 April)

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Taurus (21 April – 21 May)

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Gemini (22 May – 22 June)

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Cancer (23 June – 23 July)

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Leo (24 July – 23 August)

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Virgo (24 August – 23 September)

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Libra (24 September – 23 October)

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Scorpio (24 October – 22 November)

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Sagittarius (23 November – 21 December)

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Capricorn ( 22 December – 20 January)

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Aquarius (21 January – 19 February)

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Pisces (20 February – 20 March)

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Horoscope Source:
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Article by LizBeth

~!~ Truly Original ~!~
New Clan Quest Saying

(The New Tutorial Island.)

This word was misread in cc, causing some predictable comments:

"Don't be an Ashdale" - Blarmy
"We all start out as Ashdales, and some never get over it" -Konnan

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Article by MsKonnan

~!~ RECIPIES ~!~
by Konnan

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What You Need:

1 pkg. (8 oz.) Cream Cheese, softened
1/3 cup sugar
1 tub (8 oz.) Cool Whip Whipped Topping, thawed, divided
1 cup cherry pie filling
1 Graham Pie Crust (6 oz.)

Make It:

BEAT cream cheese and sugar with mixer until blended. Stir in 2 cups COOL WHIP. Add pie filling; swirl gently with knife.
POUR into crust; cover with remaining COOL WHIP.
FREEZE 3 hours or until firm. Remove from freezer 10 min. before serving to soften slightly before cutting to serve.

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Article by MsKonnan

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Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, and was discussing his needs with the jeweler at Tiffany's.
The jeweler inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".'
The jeweler smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day.
What do you think it means?"
"You shall know tonight", he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it. She found a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams".

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter systematically pasting "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. The guy's curiosity gets the better of him and he walks up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the guy.
The man replies, "I'm a divorce lawyer."

Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

Once upon a time a young man asked a girl "Will you marry me?"
She said "No"
And the young man lived happily ever after.

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Article by MsKonnan